Not just face candy

 

 

In some parts of the world beards are just face candy. Warmer climates are generally where these show ponies of  the beard world can be found. For us beards who live far from the equator, things are a bit different. Of course our primary function is still, to quote Derek Zoolander, to be "really really really ridiculously good looking." Unfortunately, our role does not stop there. The same way that mild climate beards are like lap dogs, or poodles; us cold weather beards are more like the golden retrievers of beards. As well as form, we also have function. We serve as a buffer between the elements and the face, much like the way that hostages are used by terrorists as human shields. Only, let's be real, beards are not going to stop bullets. We will, however mitigate the discomfort caused by wind, rain, snow and ice.

Though this dual purpose can cause a lot of discomfort (see above image [not me thk gdnss]), it can also be very rewarding. I mean, think of how proud Roald Amundsen's beard must have been, being the first beard to the South Pole. Or what about Artido Desio's beard, the first beard to summit K2.

I'm proud of my cold weather beard heritage.